It's my first weekend of freedom. I've decided to let go and see what happens. However, it's Saturday and I had to teach my obligatory bi-monthly yoga class this morning. Freedom had to wait.
There were the regular yogis, my neurotic neighbor, an Indian couple who always come late and then search for an open spot, the two pseudo-flexible, middle-aged women who never want me to adjust them, the mother and daughter, and twenty or so other new faces.
I had prepared a speech on letting go. Class is never meant to reflect my own personal issues, but somehow, this one was more relatable than the others. I gave a quick rundown on why it's important to use a block. Lengthen the spine. Create space. Have a grounding point. Check out my visual representation. I gave them all towels to help engage their leg muscles. I gave a lot today. It was a day of service.
I didn't let on that I was, in turn, letting go myself. I am letting go of this class, this gym. I have a lot stirred up in my life right now and I know when it is time to move on. I have reached a place where I can wholeheartedly do it without any regret. This goes for not only my service to this gym, but to other places in my life.
We are daily in the process of letting go of things. We just don't pay mindful attention to the action itself. We throw away things. We send emails. We hang up the phone. All of these simple things happen and life still moves on. I had been holding onto a lot that doesn't suit my life any longer. It's like my closet stuffed with dresses I no longer wear or shoes that don't fit quite right, but I cling to them anyway. Why? Once those things are discarded, the world doesn't stop turning. Life goes on and perhaps we feel a sense of freedom. This weekend begins that freedom. I empowered my students with the knowledge of the how and why to leg go. I empower myself to be decisive and driven by the true nature of who I am-- rather than the idea of pleasing the world or holding on to past feelings. The past is just that.
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