Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Because Women Eventually Become Lesbians

-
"the women friends"  gustav klimt

"....because all women eventually become lesbians."

"What?"
That was my reaction to the statement from my friend.  I asked for clarification.

My gut reaction was to exclaim,  "I don't feel romantically linked to my girlfriends, even if I do call them my "girlfriends."

I gather what he meant is that we (women) form these intimate relationships with each other which manifest themselves in the form of book clubs, brunches, running groups, etc.  It is perceived that we feed off the dismantling of our fellow gal's relationship or we advise another on options for appropriate punishment her child. It is assumed that we weave tales of discontent in regular bitch sessions about men....about boys, maybe.  I imagine men think we tell girlfriends our darkest secrets, share all of our favorite sexual positions, and readily divulge the length and girth of our spouse's penis.

All of that would certainly breed a high level insecurity.

It's not like that.  Well, maybe on occasion, but not ALL the time.

Kristen Houghton puts is this way:
Women's close friendships are hardly uncharted territory. We have been relying on each other for centuries. There's a reason women and men split into two distinct groups at social functions and it isn't dictated by the antiquated rules of Victorian society when men shared brandy and cigars in one room while women drank their sherry in another. Men need the companionship and bravado of other males; women need the intense nurturing of female friendship. And nurture each other we do. The most powerful female executive still nurtures and cares for her friends.  source
Over the years, I have established an incredibly diverse set of girlfriends that have become a vital support system for me and I for them. When one goes through rough times, the outsider's view can be critical to getting the reality check necessary.  It is, however, a double-edged sword.  As an outsider, it may be hard to see anything other than the side that's being presented to them... with emotion, with fervor.

This is not to say that an emotive relationship/friendship is restricted to just my female compadres. Nope.  In my "sewing circle" there's a handful of boys who give me advice and do not hold back.  Even moreso, I value that I'm the kind of girl (who is a thinking, feeling being that can empathize and help bring friends a sense of peace) that the boys call when there's trouble.

Human beings are social creatures. And as the article "Girl Talk" describes:
Although we no longer face the same dangers or lead the same harsh lives as our Stone Age ancestors, all the same bonding instincts are still in place, and friendship is still a vital part of our lives - perhaps increasingly so in this age of urban alienation and anomie...  source
 We are not burgeoning lesbians ready to cut the men from our lives.  Certainly some have a tendency to overshare.  It's the nature of women to lean and some lean harder than others.  We are emotionally open to a fault.  It's just important for me, for us, to know how to share, but be "man" enough to make our own life decisions.

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