Crossroads

I’m not sure this could be defined as a crisis or a crossroads.  Whatever it is, it’s got ahold of me and it won’t let go.  A conversation with a close friend steered me towards this idea that I may just be dabbling in changing my life path toward more of existentialist view of being. Surely this is what I've been drifting towards the past few years, as I explore where I've been mentally, physically, and emotionally.  Spirit has taken over and shown me in various ways signs of change that I am just now beginning to understand. 

As I fight to reclaim which direction my life flows, I often wonder how much we're influenced by how we are socialized.  

"...early in childhood, the young mind is quickly influenced with prior meanings and systematically colonized with belief systems handed down from other generations, our parents, society, religion, the media, etc." source

If we choose to continue to let these influences overtake who we might become, if we are unable or unwilling to detach from the meanings others have given us, then can we still grow into knowing our “selves" or will we become stagnant, falling into the same patterns of the social norms our families and communities have built for us?    What do I know?  

I do know that I’ve been challenged lately to answer the question, “What has changed in you to make you so disgruntled?”  What exactly have I come to find to be so frustrating and all consuming? 

It takes a lot of work to move from our comfort zones and the embedded habits that feed our complacency.  

I don’t know anything.  I know that I’ve got a lot of things to think about.  But for now, I guess I’ll keep these in mind:

Daily Affirmations from John Tsilimparis's article:

I will accept that I will be forever changing and creating myself and that I will never be a "fixed" or foregone conclusion.

I will use mindfulness and active awareness skills to make conscious meaning out of life's experiences. I do have some control over my thoughts, feelings and actions.

I will take full responsibility for all the circumstances in my life by doing what I can to make them better today. There is no one to blame anymore.

I will be more aware of the choices I make today and accept that I alone, am the author of my destiny.

I will remember who I am in relation to others and be an authentic separate individual. I will differentiate myself from others and let them experience the uniqueness of who I am.

I will use the rest of my time in this life wisely and accept that the prospect of death is a concept that actually helps me live life more fully.

source