Connecting to Spirit

There was a lot of discussion of spirit this weekend.  It is connected to our 7th Chakra -- our crown chakra that is our direct line to spirit.

This particular topic is what drew me to this studio, to this teacher years ago.  I was in search of connecting to that part of me which, for the most part, has remained elusive.  I've blogged about it before, I'm sure.  

Lately, I've been rather nervous as to how to put together my thoughts, my reasoning for why I feel the way I do. What makes me want to make such sweeping changes in my life, even if it means having to let go of people or things that are sources of comfort?  That moment of clarity came through our discussion of the 7th Chakra.  

Years ago, when I was invited to this studio to practice yoga, I began to understand within myself that there is a way of living a spirit-filled life without being "religious."  I come from a Methodist (protestant) background, had a rather good church life/youth group/family experience, and always yearned for an authentic connection to a higher source.  I wasn't, however, sold on the idea of Christianity.

In this particular spiritually-based yoga practice, not only was I working the physical self, I left with a message to apply to my spiritual self.  Maybe it was M's thoughts on authenticity, or on equanimity, or a myriad of other applicable thoughts that were woven into the class, into the selection, the progression of postures.  Whatever it was, it spoke to a part of my being that had been starved.

But just as that journey began, I got major pushback from my husband.  My once or twice a week evening yoga class became an issue -- it was either too far away or it was too expensive or it didn't work for balancing our kids with his workout and my yoga schedule.  Yet, I'd come home and share the wisdom I'd learned.  It was the start of something that I just couldn't let go, but for months, perhaps a year or more, I felt guilty for going, for feeding this part of myself.   Then I returned.  It was a return to what I felt to be true for following a path of self-care.

There are numerous moments over the last few years that I've had this sense of being closer to my most authentic self.  On a whim, I randomly picked up a book that just so happened to be required reading for my yoga teacher training.  

There are all these signs -- all of these teachings that gently tap me on the shoulder -- telling me in one way or the other to be courageous, to be authentic, to be free.  If we make choices closer to growing in our spiritual path, it's impossible to turn back.  When we are courageous, we experience freedom.  When we make choices out of fear, we experience pain.

There is so much more to say.  There's no doubt I'll be choosing courage over fear.