Intellectual Curiousness

Along with the various changes that have come into recent view, I've also decided it's time to apply for grad school.  After all, I am a professor now, and I can't see myself being Zen enough to teach college prep courses forever.  Of course this means I also have to gather some rather hefty paperwork as proof of my "willingness" or "desire" for this intellectual pursuit.  

Applying means taking a hard look at what makes the most sense with my already limited time and even more limited finances. Then there's motivating others to vouch for your "willingness" and "desire."  I nonchalantly mentioned my plans to my department lead.  It's a known fact in our department that J.S. writes glowing recommendation letters.  Perfect, I thought.  He readily agreed to help me; however, later that week, he returned with some questions.

He sat cross-legged at one of the student tables with a copy in front of him, pursing his lips.  

"I'm looking over this rather extensive recommendation questionnaire and wondering what I should write," he said.  

 "Which ones are giving you trouble?" I nervously replied.

"There's the one that asks 'does the applicant possess the intellectual ability to succeed in this program.'  If someone is really looking at this, I don't want to give just a milquetoast answer. What really is your interest in this area?  Why this program?"

I shifted uneasily in my chair.  J.S. is one of those deep thinkers who continues to study philosophy in his spare time and is always ready to craft and defend his analyses in such detail that I knew even trying to answer this question would be difficult. 

I took a deep breath and then replied, "Well, since getting into yoga, I've become deeply interested in eastern philosophy, specifically Buddhism."  There. That's something. My statement felt extremely flat. Thud. "Oh and I've always had an interest in studying art history. I love the arts."  Thinking to myself: It's not getting any better. I should just shut up.  This wasn't nearly enough for him to even bother writing one sentence, let alone a paragraph or two about my "abilities."

From there, the J.S. spent the next hour comparing eastern thought to Epictetus, along with the western philosophy of Stoicism.  He explained in excruciatingly precise detail how though Buddhism was about finding enlightenment, the Stoic thinkers believed that it was just the most logical way of existing.  God is logos.  

I am sure it appeared as if I wasn't too involved or engaged in this discussion (if you could even call it that); however, I was writing furiously in my notebook some of the ideas and tenants that could connect the eastern philosophical views I'd come to appreciate to the western equivalent.  

After nearly an hour of this, I told him I'd send him the personal statement I'd be submitting, thinking maybe it might help drive his recommendation.  Or perhaps it will just give him a chuckle.  Yes, it probably will.