Friday Levity

My Friday mornings have been hijacked by an intense back-to-back exercise class schedule. It's my own fault.  I figured if I was there teaching two classes already, I might as well do more. This is the fitness pendulum fully swinging towards insanity.  I question whether I am built to teach four consecutive classes.  So far so good.

This past Friday was a literal mess.  I made it just in time to gather up the Basic Fitness ladies and move them for thirty minutes of my simplified routines. Less hip circles. More toe tapping.  Less gesticulation of the body. More smile and sway.  It is my general gauge that I should not be making the seniors do the things that the youngsters do.  My classes are less twerky to begin with, but I've made even more adjustments as I watch the older generation's range of movement.  As we began the cooldown, I glanced toward the mirror to see an unusually dark sweat stain on my capris.  It wasn't in the typical crotch sweat triangulation.  It was dark and blooming in a strange circle. It wasn't sweat.

As a recent "graduate" of the Bloodbourne Pathogens online course, I was willing to bet that there'd be quite a mess on my hands if I didn't take care of this issue. Pull out the PPEs (personal protection equipment)..... on my own accident scene.  I pulled my shirt down as far as it could go. I ran to the front desk between classes to find someone, anyone who could teach while I drove my bloodstained ass home for a proper cleanup. No one.  My manager was out sick. My coordinator was out for her morning run.  I ran back to class assessing my pants.  My period looked literal a darkened period on the front of me. My personal hygiene products had completely failed me.

There was no other choice.  I positioned myself at such an angle that my crotch mess wasn't in plain view of my class and continued on.  Afterwards, I grabbed my keys and headed home to change during the 15 minute window between my abdominal class and Body Pump.

I've been teaching exercise since 2007 and never needed to do a wardrobe change. I've never had to handle a bloody situation on any members or myself.  As I drove home, I laughed at my good fortune to have made it that long without an incident.  Returning to the gym, freshly changed and cleaned up, class continued as if nothing had happened.  Other than embarrassment and some wicked stains, I survived.