Social Distancing in effect

I disobeyed the order of social distancing last night. My friends all got together for wine, bourbon, and some deliciously juicy shrimp on the grill. The porch was at least the semblance of being outside rather than our germs and the Covid-19 swirling around the house. I kept a reasonable distance from most, but we did get a little close to take some photos together. I'm not being very good a regulating the distance, except when I'm at the grocery store.

I cut out more landscape pictures today to start to fill out my project. It's almost to the point where I can begin to permanently affix each circle to the canvas; I have more than enough to cover it, but this time, I'm trying to connect the dots a little more than just make an abstract colorful collage. This takes more time and more effort to find the right shade or the right shape near the corners of the canvas.

Even after a night of getting together with friends, those same friends met at my patio to recount their boating adventure to me today.

"We kept wishing you were there."

It always feels good to be wanted. There's a lot of conversation about relationships, failed and faulty. I lean back in my lawnchair and listen most of the time -- the conscientious observer.

We leave our shoes outside now.
We open doors with tissues and wash our hands as soon as we get home.
We tend to change our clothes if we've been out in public somewhere.

The Landscape for Today

Yesterday, my friend V introduced me to a new trail for hiking, and perhaps, if I'm feeling adventurous, I may even jog some of it. The entire loop is 7.1 miles. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for that. We chose to walk briskly for 30 minutes and then turn back around. I was so caught up in conversation that I almost forgot to turn around, but we managed. V is my age and single, so we sorted through some of the latest dating drama she's been struggling with. I believe she's handling herself way better than I would under similar circumstances. I bet she has a pretty high EQ. I feel it.

It's nearly noon and I'm still in an oversized tank top and underwear. I haven't gotten much done today. Seems like spending more time at home means there's a better chance of making a mess here. I'm an expert in mess-making.

M gave me some very sweet "advice" yesterday in regards to my latest art piece. He suggested that I follow the patterns of the landscape on the 2-inch circles rather than thinking of the circles themselves. This is something that seemed quite obvious to me, but alas, I let him impart his artistic wisdom (read: somewhat sarcastic).  I've been a little down lately about how he pictures me. He made a comment in front of the kids about there being only 2 people as part of his company. Of course, I assumed the other person to be me. It was not. It was his contractor who "actually creates stuff." That didn't go over so well with me. I would be creative if given the chance. I have offered many suggestions, on set, in production, in post, that have been taken to heart and improved the work involved. My creativity and artistic eye is still in the elementary stage to some.

Today I'm being pulled in a few directions. My house needs a little attention (plates, bottles, bathrooms a mess). My friends are wanting me to do a Zumba class here. My neighbor wants to borrow a DVD or two. My other friend just wants to drink and chill. I'm sure M wants to do something too, but I might be pulled away for awhile.

Memory Making

In light of the recent circumstances, I'm on a mission to create positive memories for the kids during this time of worry. We borrowed a tent from the ex-husband --thinking that perhaps some nature time at night in the backyard might be fun. Eve took it upon herself to set up the tent all by herself. I was rather impressed. She also ran a string of extension cords that snaked through the yard to the tent so that there could be a power source (for a fan and a light). Their first night was a complete washout, literally. At 1:30am, the sprinklers began to douse the tent with water and flooded them. They woke us up, of course, unhappy with the puddles of water that had completely soaked all of their blankets, books, and mattresses. Then, the two kids spent the next few hours cleaning up the mess and doing laundry. It was an unfortunate, but hilarious mess.

On the second night, things went smoothly. M turned off the sprinkler system to avert any further crisis. We made it through the entire night without any wake-up calls.

I've started on a new art project. I've had a few requests and one is for work that focuses on trees. I scoured eBay, Thriftbooks, and Amazon for books that had tree photography. In addition, I ordered a book about Africa and one that focuses on the black and white photography of Ansel Adams. It's a strange feeling to rip the bound pages, much like the satisfaction one gets from rehabbing a room by first destroying the walls. I'm tearing through the interior of these books searching for an adequate amount of material to make my circles. For the landscape work I'm using the 2 inch circle punch instead of the 1.5 inch. I've ordered two new black canvases and awaiting their arrival. The postman's daily drop off is way more exciting these days. Yesterday The Forest came, which photographically chronicles different types of trees. Consequently, I was up until 11 last night cutting over 450 circles from the pages.

Landon's hair has gotten a little lengthy for his taste so he trusted me enough to let him cut his hair. I stuck him out on the porch chair and used the clippers around the sides and snipped a little bit of the top. He was pretty impressed. "You're pretty good at this, Mommy," he said. I reminded him that I used to cut his hair and his dad's at the old house. When I look back at photos, I am not entirely thrilled with my skills, but today's cut was pretty effortless.

The kids are supposed to be picked up by their dad today. I'm not sure what exactly we'll do in regards to containing them going forward. There's some discord between M and me about whether or not the kids should stay with one parent until this whole virus pandemic passes. I don't think it would go over well with the ex to say that he can't have them for his half of the time. There's a good chance they'll be back over here tomorrow, since I don't think it's a good idea for them to go to work with P. His family owns a manufactured home community for seniors. Considering the mortality rate of the coronavirus, having children who could be carriers around isn't the best scenario.

During this season of containment, I've been posting pictures from a recent photoshoot with my friend Luciane. I am happy with some of the photos, of course (otherwise I wouldn't post them). But, I also don't want to seem like I'm self-absorbed. It's a delicate balance. I've chosen motivational-ish quotes to go with each photo -- like little reminders to stay calm and keep moving forward. It's probably more motivating for me than anyone else.  

The Shortest Hike on the Schedule

I came up with the brilliant idea of making a daily schedule for my kids to follow. It's not a lie when I tell you they never complain about it. Some part of having an "agenda" makes them feel more comfortable, a day more predictable. The idea of scheduling my kids' day out after they just returned back from a 9 hour post-vacation drive may seem a little harsh and regimented, but I did it anyway. They better get used to it. Landon asked if I was going to change up the schedule every day. I shrugged. I really hadn't thought that far ahead. What usually happens is that I start running out of ideas about 4 days into something like this. Hopefully, we will last more than 4 days. I have a saved note on my phone with possible activities, but I can see us breezing through half of them in about 20 minutes. My mother had the brilliant idea of letting them proposed their own schedule, so I deleted all of the activities for each hour and handed them a blank spreadsheet to fill in. I was pleasantly surprised when it was returned without much edited from my original plan. And no one said, "Sit and eat Oreos while binge-watching Netflix."

Our first day of scheduling was pretty much on task. Around dinner time, we started to fall off, but it was pretty successful regardless of a lackluster evening.  I managed to take suggestions from both kids for our Sunday schedule. I also added my own things like -- go for a hike with Mommy. M decided to join us for it too..... and the kids insisted bringing the dog.
"Is that it?" M says.
"I told you it was short," I replied.
The trail is not a lengthy hike at this park; if you blink or yawn, you might miss it. The goal was to simply get out in the natural world for a breath or two. The kids aren't used to staying home so much, so this was a welcomed break. They begged M to let them go to the store with him. He refused. Guess we are making every effort to stay safe.

And into the world....

When all else fails, find the humor in the situation. I have friends that refuse to remain quarantined and put the utmost importance on the hair/nail/skin maintenance. And yes, they are still friends of mine. I have chosen to personally forgo these services (not that I go to nail appointments or get eyelashes very often). My favorite stylist remains working as of now. Lucky for me, I got my hair colored just a week before all of this madness.

I went to Target to get some supplies for when the children arrive today. Snacks, lunch accoutrements, a little extra caffeine for dealing with the indoors. We should install a sanitizing mister into the doorway entry so we can skip the step of disinfecting ourselves after visiting public areas. I think I could trademark that. Add it to the list next to the glowing soccer ball idea.

Truth be told, I went out yesterday afternoon to one of our local haunts. I told myself I was doing my part to help the local businesses stay afloat. I texted the bartender ahead of time to see if they were serving food or only providing takeout. His response was, "And alcohol." I wasn't sure what exactly that meant. A lot of businesses have moved to the takeout model. This one particular establishment was still serving both food and alcohol inside the restaurant, on the patio, and also our favorite place -- in the bar. Of course, as I type this, my cohort texts me that the governor just downgraded restaurants to "to go" orders only. I'm glad we got our chance to socialize (at a safe distance of course) yesterday. The establishment had placed red Xs on the tables that were too close to the other "open" tables. They'd done all they could to keep people at a safe distance from each other, but most of all, they were serving liquor. As long as the liquor sales didn't exceed the food sales, they were safe to continue serving. Now, it's changing. *sigh* I did have a pretty decent buzz yesterday and that memory will hopefully remain with me for some time. Lots of the restaurants are going to be permanently closing their doors after this, that is for sure.

These are necessary precautionary measures, of course. I won't complain too loudly. Staying healthy means that hopefully my family can stay well. M threatened that if he gets sick he won't be able to go to L.A. for the shoot he's got on the schedule for next month. California has asked everyone to self-quarantine. I foresee that the situation there (or here) won't improve by the time he's supposed to leave. I am not very good at staying home, yet I have a well-stocked home with plenty of amenities to enjoy: pool, hot tub, more bathrooms than the amount of people who dwell here.

While I was out, I headed to the craft store to buy more glue and other artsy fartsy supplies. If I can't go anywhere, at least I can create here. I have fabric cutters and straight edge cutters. I've got all sorts of tools that I may not even use.

Amazon is still delivering me things too. I have a hexagon cutter coming today (M rolled his eyes when I told him so). I also have 2 black canvases on the books to be delivered along with 4 or more (I lost count) coffee table books. Landscapes are next: Trees, Africa, Ansel Adams. I'm sure if I told an Ansel Adams fan that I was about to rip out and destroy the hardcover book to make an art piece they'd probably beat me up.

When I told M I was going to start on a new visual art piece he tapped his fingers as if he were typing -- this was his way of telling me I should be writing. I am writing now, but I don't think it's the genre of writing he expects.

If anyone is happy about this self-imposed quarantine, it's the dog. She likes the fact that we are home and available to pet her and refill her water bowl (which seems to always be empty).

I have a list of things I want to accomplish today -- not sure how far I'll get considering I am only half doing most things. I started to do a workout but didn't finish. I tried to take a video of my yoga flow on my phone but deleted it immediately. I looked in at the kids' rooms to see if I should tidy them up, but then decided that maybe it will give them something to do when they arrive home.

In the midst of all of this chaos, I am scaling back on my depression meds. My psychologist says that I need to be able to FEEL and sit with the pain or distress or whatever. This decision was made before the quarantine. I'm not sure how I feel about it now. Maybe it's better to take the same dosage under these conditions. Maybe I should take more than the recommended dose. Our economy is sinking. The stock market is down to record lows. The president is Donald Trump -- which for me is a nightmare in itself. I don't take anti-anxiety meds -- they put me to sleep.

So I will continue to make a little progress where and when I can. Granted, I have plenty of time. I may even take up running outside. Just the other day, I walked down the path next to Lake Monroe. The walking seemed to be enough -- but running would feel really good. Lots of people were out that day, walking and running next to the lake. As an added precautionary measure, I would hold my breath whenever someone whizzed past. I couldn't imagine contact with the coronavirus whilst doing a healthy activity. Not like holding my breath is going to do anything to help. I did it anyway.

I received an invite to go to a neighborhood pool today. I'm reluctant for many reasons. I've already been out and feel like I've used up my free passes/excuses/reasons for drinking with friends who might be contagious. I don't truly enjoy that community nor its clubhouse/pool area. So I'll just sit here in my pajamas and drink my coffee with my dog begging me to pet her and put off doing actual work.

Art in the time of Corona

Art in a time of Coronavirus (first creation on right, second creation on left)

I saw my psychologist today and there was no mention of the "C" word. That is... the Coronavirus -- which is what everyone is obsessing about right now (and rightfully so). Since I'm somewhat self-quarantining, I thought this would be an appropriate time to restart this blog. Though what I'm doing isn't any different than anyone else in our situation. I haven't stockpiled toilet paper, which has been flying off the shelves for some reason. I have a limited supply of that and hand sanitizer. I have an ample amount of activities to keep myself busy though.

Lately I've been working on several art projects. This little obsession began about a month ago when I discovered a hefty amount of National Geographic magazines still in their wrappers. I had recently returned from Hobby Lobby with colorful stock paper to make a collage of sorts, but the plain colors didn't seem to call to me the way abstract images do. So, I tore through eight of the magazines and started making hundreds (literally hundreds) of 2 inch circles.

Two black canvases sit blank in my office. My original intent was to fill them with inspiration (vision board style) but, nothing was inspiring me to rip out and paste up there. So instead, I took one off of the wall and began arranging the circles in color spectrums. Floral closeups mashed up next to aquatic scenes. Desert landscapes jutted up next to African natives. It's all fair game on that first piece. What materialized was both trippy and interesting (at least to me).

A middle and high school classmate of mine creates ornate 3D paper art installations for hospitals and businesses. I won't say I was inspired by her per say, but I do find her work intriguing.
https://www.instagram.com/artist.kellyjoyladd/

I was more just trying to find myself a creative outlet during this time of uncertainty. Sure, there's the uncertainty of who is infected during this critical pandemic where people are dying. But I am referencing my own uncertainty. Ever since I graduated with my masters degree I've been on the quest to figure out what's next. It's an uncertain personal time. Yes, I work for M as a part-time producer/bookkeeper, but in reality I'm simply doing the tasks M doesn't want to, or doesn't have the time to do himself. It's not my "thing." The uncertainty is, "What is my 'thing'?"

So, I finished the first piece and felt compelled to start on the second black canvas. Mom and I stopped at her artist friend's home and she commented that I should try working on one particular genre with my weird little hobby. Eve and I headed to the bookstore to see if we could get our hands on some books within one genre. I found two very different discounted photo books: Torso (black and white photos that focuses solely on the tattooed torsos of individuals) and Lost Baltimore (a picture history of some of the long lost establishments in the city).

At first, my goal was to artfully combine the two books as they were both images in black and white, but the more I worked within the chaos of the tattoos in Torso, the more I realized these pieces needed to be separate. I had enough (over 850) tiny circles to fill my second canvas.

Once the coronavirus because imminent and I knew I had to spend more time indoors, I began covering one of my (dumb and pathetic) self-painted art pieces with the remnants of Lost Baltimore.

There have been lessons along the way. Book photos hold up for hole punching circle-making better than magazines. The edges along some of the magazine pages would tear under pressure. Covering magazine clippings with Modge Podge wrinkles the art. Make enough circles to cover across all surfaces -- sides included. Don't try to get to fancy with constructing complicated abstract images on the canvas with the circles. Don't be afraid to rip off and start over and over again.

In the book, Find Your Artistic Voice, Congdon imparts the 10 steps to building skill. Most are logical.
1. Begin
2. Practice
3. Keep Showing Up
4. Practice More
5. Stretch Yourself
6. Practice
...... you get the point. The problem with non-creative people is that they are not willing to fail. They are looking for perfection on the first try. I am not looking for perfection. I am seeking creation for creation's sake.

So, now I've spent close to 50 dollars on books that should be arriving. I'm trying new mediums like fabric circles. My family things I'm absolutely nuts and they may be right. I think I may try hexagons next. Amazon Prime is delivering a high quality hexagon cutter next week. It's all worth a try.